Key concepts: Viridian T-shirt, money, shipping, merchandising hassles, Viridian Curia

Attention Conservation Notice: It's basically about list management issues, and it may cause you to spend money to own some garment you didn't know you wanted.

Entries in the Viridian Summer Health Warning Contest:

This contest expires on September 1, 01999.

The Viridian Pope-Emperor is still checking in regularly, among the trolls and rants.

Viridian Individual Projects:

And, just in from Bob Morris, a Viridian graphics archive:

(((Bob Morris is putting together a Viridian site specializing in Viridian graphics. It's handy to have these files all inside one machine, because the relentless horror of "link-rot" has already annihilated many early Viridian contest entries. Send Bob Morris email, if you want to resurrect your deathless masterpiece and stuff it in there.

(((I especially recommend the handsome and attractive page: which has most of of the Viridian Summer Health Warning posters, together for the first time on one screen, as handy thumbnail-sizes. An archive can do this sort of thing for us, whereas a mere chain of links can't. Nice, isn't it? This would probably make a lovely two-page magazine spread of some kind, if not for the sheer tedium of contacting all the artists and engaging in pernickety contract negotiations over copyright issues.)))

And Now: The First Viridian T-Shirt! Created by "Team Zebra Mussels" of the Viridian Curia: "Alex Steffen"
(^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^******?) "Laura Stinson" (^^^^^^^^**?) "John J. Kovach IV" (^^**?) "Brad Bulger" (^^*?) and "Bob Morris" (^^^^^?).

They're here, they're real, they take up mass and occupy space. I've got two big boxes of T-shirts here at the Viridian Vatican. With their bold, attention -hog declaration "This T-Shirt Is Killing Me," they're not bad- looking, either. I've got about a hundred of them, all told. They come in three sizes, a large "Medium," a huge "Large," and a tent-like "Extra Large."

The basic point of this exercise is to produce Viridian-designed items that are made of atoms instead of bits. This is the first time we Viridians have actually gone through with this threat. Unfortunately, the movement of atoms requires the movement of money, plus a lot of tiresome T-shirt clerkly attention from yours truly. We are therefore selling these T-shirts as our first pilot project, and throwing the proceeds into a box, so as to finance future Curia projects. (The people in the Viridian Curia, you see, are those who have boldly volunteered to make actual physical things.)

We already have a second T-shirt in the works, if Team Tsetse Flies can get their production chops together. We Viridians have no lack of ideas (as you may have noticed), but if we're actually gonna be involved in making Viridian tschotschkes and gizmos, we're gonna have to see some supportive, bit-champing enthusiasm from the Viridian masses. Buy this T-shirt, therefore, and you'll be voting for a future torrent of Viridian bumper stickers, Viridian fridge magnets, Viridian monogrammed pencils, Big Mike mouse pads, snow-globes, tattoos, condoms, und so weiter.

You will also be voting on creating a minor Viridian mail- retail bureaucracy, which I am frankly loath to do. But I'm willing to get out there and mix it up a little, if it's demonstrated that this is what the Viridian List really wants out of life.

So, a lot is weighing on whether people actually buy these T-shirts. They cost fifteen USD each. If you're feeling prosperous and supportive, and you want your shirt sent first class, send me twenty bucks. I can use that to defray the crippling shipping costs to Europe and Australia.

Because I'm handling this first experiment personally, I'm not taking any credit cards. No. I'm not. You have to send me a check or some cash, and in US currency, please. And there is no easy, simple, accessible, e- commerce, point -and-click ordering, either. No way.
Forget about it. Maybe later. You have to mail me an actual physical letter, with your actual physical order, describing your actual physical location (your address), and the actual size of shirt that you want. It's all done bit-free and atomically.

Just to add a little Viridian pizazz to this sordid transaction, I am going to randomly salt every fifth order or so with some cool and totally random useless item out of the litter in my office here.

Mail your T-shirt order to:
Viridian Vatican
3410 Cedar Street
Austin, Texas 78705

First come, first served. Qualities are limited, unless we decide to make some more, later.

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