Subject:  Viridian Note 00042:  the Viridian Alcohol 
Cellphone

Key concepts:  imaginary products, fuel cells, cellphones

Attention Conservation Notice:  It's about a whimsical 
"product" that doesn't yet exist, but might end up in a 
Viridian catalog someday.

Entries in the Viridian "Fungal Typography" Contest:
http://members.aol.com/stjude/
http://www.saunalahti.fi/~jtlin/viridian/
http://www.wenet.net/~scoville/Viridian/viridiantext.html
http://www.erols.com/ljaurbach/
http://www.empathy.com/viridian/
http://www.spaceways.de/Viridian/Viridiantype.html
http://www.stewarts.org/users/stewarts/viridian.html
http://way.nu/greens/typography.html
http://abe.burmeister.com/viridian2dot1.html
(Note: Burmeister entry recently updated)
http://rampages.onramp.net/~jzero/viridian/
http://www.msys.net/reid/main.html
This contest embraces decay on January 31, 01999.  
For contest instructions see Note 00027.

Links:   
A link announcement from tor@araneum.dk^^^^^^^* (Tor 
Kristensen):
Tor Kristensen remarks:  I've added a new section to 
http://www.bespoke.org/viridian/ 
It lets anyone add a link to a "Viridian" product.
You can rate the links as "Viridian," "Nearly Viridian," 
"Partly Viridian," or "Viridian-Leaning."   Cheers, Tor 
Kristensen
Curator, Digital Artist


From: SeJ@aol.com^^^^** (Stefan Jones)

Source: http://www.msnbc.com/news/227875.asp

"A cell phone can run on alcohol?  Research firm develops 
prototype miniature power pack"
                                                                    
from REUTERS

       "LOS ALAMOS, N.M., Dec. 30, 1998.  A New Mexico 
research firm said on Wednesday it has come up with a 
prototype miniature power pack for cell phones that runs 
on alcohol == including hard liquor. Manhattan Scientifics 
Inc. said it has come up with a 'pre-prototype' micro fuel 
cell that could be used to power a cell phone. Fuel cells 
generate power through a chemical process  without 
combustion.

    "'It can run on ethanol == which is vodka. It will run 
longer on something strong, but we are using a 
water/ethanol mix that is equivalent to windshield wiper 
fluid,' Robert Hockaday, the company's chief fuel cell 
scientist, told Reuters.  'You could screw the fuel cell 
into one of those little shot bottles, but then we would 
have a liability problem ==  people would be trying to 
drink their phones,' he added." (...).
 
     "Hockaday's prototype cell can run for about two 
weeks on an ampule of fuel, but the company's ultimate 
objective is six months of uninterrupted usage. A 
commercial version of the miniature fuel cell could be 
available in about a year and a half, the scientist said.  
(c) 1998 Reuters"

Stefan Jones remarks:

If this isn't Viridian, I dunno what is. It's probably 
even *more* Viridian if you use green liqueur, like 
absinthe or creme de menthe.

   "'Taint moonshine Sheriff, I'm just trying to keep 
Momma's pacemaker going!"

(((bruces remarks:  It's a sad commentary on the state of 
affairs in American consumer technology when one sees 
legal "liability problems" invented out of whole cloth, so 
as to avoid the creation of a great new product.  Yes, it 
should indeed be dead obvious to any true Viridian that a 
cellphone hipflask that also creates its own six-month 
battery charge is a truly inspired device.  Think about 
it.  How many times have you made a phone call that 
*required* a drink afterwards?  How many times have you 
been knocking back liquor in lonely splendor and felt a 
sudden powerful urge to reach out and touch someone?  

    (((I foresee a demographically split product line.  
First we have the executive version, a trim fold-up 
nickel-plated phone that contains a healthy shot of fine 
barrel-strength Scotch single-malt.  Then there's the 
downmarket version, basically a portable still that 
contains K011 gene-spliced Cajun moonshine.  Six months on 
one's hip actually *mellows the rotgut out* == because 
even the cheapest liver-eating tequila improves after a 
pass through a catalytic oxidizing fuel reformer.  Don't 
even get me started about the liter-sized global Iridium 
satellite cellphone.)))

Stefan Jones (SeJ@aol.com^^^^**)