Viridian Note 00183: North Pole MeltsBruce Sterling [firstname.lastname@example.org]
Attention Conservation Notice: Why pay attention merely because the North Pole has melted?
Entries in the Viridian Magazine Cover Contest:
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This contest expires August 31, 02000.
"The thick ice that has for ages covered the Arctic Ocean at the pole has turned to water, recent visitors there reported yesterday. At least for the time being, an ice-free patch of ocean about a mile wide has opened at the very top of the world, something that has presumably never before been seen and is more evidence that global warming may be real and already affecting climate." John Noble Wilford, The New York Times, Saturday, August 19, 2000
(((We Viridians have been looking for the "Rock Hudson of
the Greenhouse Effect" for some time now. To judge by
Viridian email submissions, open water at the North Pole
is the most compelling evidence yet. "The North Pole has
melted." This assertion is hard to downplay, though no
doubt the Greening Earth Society will bend every well-
(((There's quite a lot going on this month,
weatherwise. The American West is extensively on fire,
with firefighting teams collapsing from fatigue. A lab
report came out declaring that ragweed, a notorious
allergen, is twice as productive of irritating pollen
thanks to increased CO2. This ominous report implies that
most every plant on this planet may have been sexually
affected by the Greenhouse Effect. We can expect untold
demographic effects down the line. There were 160-mile an
hour wind gusts in Taipei yesterday from the anomalously
huge and violent "Super-Typhoon Bilis", which is making
landfall now on the densely populated coast of China.
(((There is a temptation to despair when events this
egregious happen to us, yet there is no detectable
response from the powers-that-be. But keep this in mind:
this ugliness is as nothing compared to what lies ahead.
We are early in the 21st century's developmental curve.
These events are dire harbingers, like bloodshot eyes and
trembling hands == but the trend means cirrhosis, violent
blackouts and Korsakoff's Syndrome. So far, we've got it
easy. The day will surely come when everyone knows.
Then our dilettante hobby becomes history, and serious
(((Best news of the month: the fabulous Viridian logo
of "BP", aka "Beyond Petroleum." Though America is
running two Texan oil men for President and Vice
President, Sir John Browne's British-based multinational
has sacrificed the jargon term "British" in exchange for a
globalist Green Party sunflower logo. The BP television
ads in the USA, establishing their new corporate-identity
scheme, are marvelous. You could easily mistake this
massive, ancient energy company for a go-getting dot-com.
Despite stiff competition from Shell ("Shell Wind, Shell
Solar") BP has to be known henceforth as the Viridian
darling among oil companies. If you live in Chicago, we
Viridians would be very interested in an eye-witness
report from a BP solar-powered gas station. We are also
eager to own a BP Sunflower T-shirt.
(((Before you dismiss BP's greenwashing as some
ludicrous oxymoron, ask yourself this: why are you
emptying your wallet at some gas station that is not
(((Many Viridians sent in email about John Noble Wilford's New York Times article describing open water at the North Pole. Mirian Lennox suggested an activist response.)))
no more north polar ice email@example.com* (Mirian Crzig Lennox)
"This may be the most important Viridian news story yet, in that it's the first incontrovertible evidence of global warming which can be plainly seen by the naked eye and understood by the layman. I suggest a broad marketing campaign centered around this event, complete with Viridian Polar Ice Cubes (clear plastic cubes filled with salt water) and, just in time for the holiday season 'A Viridian Green Christmas,' in which Santa is forced to abandon his toymaking factory for a houseboat. The kiddies will love it!"
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